14
Jan

I know that I shouldn’t feel this way but….

   Posted by: Rachel Thursby   in Diabetes

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I’m depressed today!  I feel like crying and I wouldn’t be able to explain why.  Well I know why but the why doesn’t make sense.  Do you know what I mean?  Let me explain.

The past couple of days a lot of people mentioned how they were told, when their child was diagnosed with diabetes, that there would be a cure within the next 10 years.  We were also told that when Tristan was diagnosed at 16 months.  One person that made a comment on a blog said her parents were told this also when she was diagnosed.  She has now been living with diabetes for 22 years!

I think that deep down I always knew that it probably wasn’t going to happen.  But still….. I wanted to believe that it would happen.  I know that it’s silly but I feel a great lost today.  Maybe I’m just tired! :)

I just wanted it.  I wanted it so bad!  I wanted Tristan to experience childhood without diabetes.  I guess in the past 5 years it has become my dream.  It’s hard to let go of one’s dream!

Oh I want to kick diabetes’ ass!  If I could get away with it I think that I would throw myself on the floor and have a big old temper tantrum!  Think I can get away with it? :)  I think not so I will pick myself up and act like an adult… not that I want to! :)

I don’t think that I will ever stop hoping for a cure but from now on, I will keep that feeling buried way way down!

Oh and one more thing…. GO TO HELL DIABETES!  You may have won a few rounds…. but the war ain’t over!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 14th, 2010 at 6:48 pm and is filed under Diabetes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 comments so far

Melinda
 1 

Count me in on kicking Diabetes’ ass! It is the most frustrating “disease” in the world. It sucks 24-7, yet we always have to “look on the bright side” and “put our best face forward” in front of our kids and the world. Hey people, listen up. DIABETES SUCKS EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY. ( Caps indicate yelling ) FIND US A CURE!!!!!

January 14th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Nan
 2 

: ( we will always hope, for sure. but i can’t help think of how much $ all these companies would lose if everyone were cured.

January 14th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Zita
 3 

Have you been reading my mind? Seven years after my son’s Dx, I’ve arrived at the same place. I’ll continue to hope for a cure, but one of my New Year’s resolutions (which I normally don’t make) is to start living as if it’s not coming. I didn’t know how to write about this, but you’ve done it.

January 14th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Lorraine Sisto
 4 

I don’t think people are made much more skeptical than I am. I have this book which dedicates a page to every day of the year and describes what people are like based upon the day of the year they were born. My day is called “The day of the hard look”. It defines me perfectly - anyone who knows me is fascinated at the eeriness of the accuracy of this book as it relates to me.
That being said, I have hope.
I don’t really understand why people (doctors) need to define a timeframe to this. I suppose it’s because it’s something we all want to hear. Giving it definition when it is IMPOSSIBLE to define is what makes this situation that we are in. Once the measurement is defined, we have something to look at and say, “well that didn’t work - they were wrong - they lied - it WON’T happen.”
But I haven’t given up. The timeframe may be wrong, but the theory, I believe, is right.
There ARE resources - many resources - tasked to tackle this. I don’t have the slightest clue when their efforts will be realized, but I truly believe they will be. It may be 100 years from now, it may be 10. But I believe this puzzle will be solved.
None of us are sitting around waiting for a cure. We are all doing everything we can to keep ourselves or our kids healthy now.
I think of the people who lived with diabetes in the early 1900s who starved themselves to live another day, every day, in hope of a cure. The cure came for many of them. It was insulin. It saved their lives.
Now I am NOT saying that insulin is a cure, because I know darn well that it is not. But for these people it might as well have been. From their perspective it was.
I hate what diabetes does and makes us all do as much as anyone. But, I am so very, very thankful (ok, I’m choking up now) that Caleb has the benefit of the advancements that exist today. Even on the worst of days, when I don’t think I can take another second of the crap that diabetes presents us, I remind myself it could be so much worse.
I don’t know when there will be a cure, but I am still hopeful.
More than that, I am hopeful that along the way there will be many more advancements that will make living with diabetes easier and safer. If there are as many in the next 10 years as there were in the last 10 years, living with diabetes in 2020, when Caleb is just 17, will be a very different thing than it is today.

January 14th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Shamae
 5 

Ya it’s hard…sometimes I wanna quit raising money with jdrf completely because I wonder what is actually happening. Is Syd gonna actually see a cure? Morgan’s numbers haven’t been good lately…higer than normal. Our CDE thinks she may be developing it. My poor heart can’t take it but it will have to. I’ll hold out hope but I can’t think it will come soon.

January 14th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Jen
 6 

We were told 5 to 10 years ABSOLUTELY for a cure. After talking to other parents with T1 kids, I realized that this had been told to countless others 10 or more years ago too! That is when I really grieved. I am mad that the hospital continues to tell this to the newly diagnosed!! Now, I just continue to hope for improvements that will make my sons diabetes more and more manageable as he gets older..and if they actually do find a cure..well, I will of course be overjoyed!!

January 14th, 2010 at 11:00 pm

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